When I started my career here.. some people said that I have to help Malay students bcoz they have been treated unfairly by most of the racist chinese lecturers. It come accross to my mind that Chinese normally are very good and hardworking. Being an educator, I believe in being fair to everybody. Give and educate them full heartedly as what I had done before. Of course, the environment has change.. I'm now in the middle of Chinese community (90% chinese 10% Malays). In few of my classes I have 100% chinese students. And I started found that I'll be very lucky if I can understand their language. At the beginning, with problems that I faced with a chinese lecturer here.. I set my mind to help my own people.
When I started my class last few months, my perception towards chinese changed but for the malays.. it remains. Not all chinese students are hardworking, not everybody in the class are participative and not everybody comes from good family background. Some of them are just below average (based on my observation in class and their performance). However.. Malays are remain the same. Those who always absent are malays, those who have a lot of excuses are malays and those who are missing in action are also malays. A few of them came to me at week 10 just to say.. "Miss, my attendance very poor in your class. I probably being barred from final exam. Could you please help me?" Oh my goodness, if I think as Malay I should help Malays, that would not be the way. And my typical answer was " I want to help you, but if you don't want to help yourself, how could I? " Please don't absent any of my classes after this, otherwise I have to perform my responsibility as lecturer" Am I wrong to be very strict even to my own people?
Yesterday we started the class presentation for the semester. I never had any experience like this before. Too many groups volunteer themselves to be the first presenter. In 1 hour class where I expect max only 3 groups can present their reports.. 4 groups volunteered. and all of them are chinese... This morning, the class was supposed to start at 9am. I reached the class at 8.55am, 1 group already inside the room and offer themselves as the first presenter. I asked them to set their slides and surprisingly they said they came very early just to set up everything and test their slides.
Do you know what happened after the presentation? they came to me asked my feedback and comments or anything that I can suggest to ensure that they score the assignment. Those who have not presented came and asked which part of the previous presentations that they should or should not follow? Oh.. I forget to mention that there were a few groups submitted the report 2 WEEKS.. I repeat 2 WEEKS before the deadline. The reason is.. they want to focus on their mid-term and other assignments. And again, non of them are malays.
I'm not writing to tell everyone that now I'm being double standard to my own people or condemning my own people. But I want all my students who read this (IIC, OUM, MMC - majority are malays) to start thinking how these people who are not given any priviledge as Bumiputra in this country are hardly trying to change their life. In this chinese-dominated university where my own people are considered as minority, I can see that they are still sleeping. They don't feel that they have to compete and stay in complacent zone... It makes me upset and so far I think I failed to drive them on the right track.
Don't you think that one day they are the one who grab all the opportunities and you are still at the same stage, same standard of living. To my dear students... please change.
